You know you text too much when...


I just wrote some meditations on barking dogs. I wrote it by hand in a paper notebook, finished it, turned the page, sat back, looked at the notebook and, for a fraction of an instant WAITED FOR IT TO TEXT ME BACK.

I have been texting too much. 
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Mindfulness Meditation: A tool to let you govern your own mind



Life: Happy or Crappy?

I think one key to whether I live a happy life or a crappy one is what I choose to pay attention to. Paying attention to dogs barking, little aches and pains, and the voice in my head that's kind of a miserable whiner is not a recipe for happiness. Or achievement. Or anything good. 

Meditation is a way to train the awareness. 

The following exercise has been a great tool for disciplining my emotions and recovering from grief. I wish I'd known of it years ago. They ought to teach this stuff in high school. I bet the crime rate would go down. Here it is. 

Mindfulness Meditation Made Ridiculously Easy

Step 1

Breathe in and tell yourself, "I'm breathing in."

Step 2

Breathe out and tell yourself, "I'm breathing out."

Repeat

When your mind wanders, gently redirect your attention to your breathing.  

The gentle redirection of your attention when it wanders is the essence of this exercise. So you don't ever have to feel like you're screwing up. 

A lot of instructions tell you to do this for 5-10 minutes. I can do it for about one minute and I found it just one minute very helpful.


Here are some other online resources:

shambhalasun

This site has five has basic five mindfulness exercises and explains the philosophy behind them clearly, with detail, and in a somewhat mystical manner

http://www.shambhalasun.com/index.php?option=content&task=view&id=3490

Good Life Zen

This page has detailed instructions for a simple meditation exercise. Here's a wonderful bit of wisdom:

Set yourself a regular schedule, but make sure this schedule is ‘too easy’, and ‘too short’. If you want to create a habit of daily meditation, you’re much more likely to be successful if you treat yourself with kindness and don’t demand the impossible.

http://goodlifezen.com/simple-guide-to-mindfulness-meditation/


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Are hangovers preventable?



Problem: You get hangovers
Solution: Four easy steps below 

Apparently, hangovers are preventable. Alcohol does specific things to your body, and by addressing and fixing each thing that alcohol screws up, you can save yourself some misery.

This is hangover prevention, so do all this stuff while you're still drunk. Before you go to sleep/pass out.

1. Drink water.  Alcohol messes up something in your kidneys and makes them pump out water. Dehydration is the #1 cause of headaches. (You don't even have to be drunk to get a dehydration headache.) So drink a lot of water. One glass of water for every glass of devil's brew you drank. Maybe more. Whenever you pee, drink enough to make up for what you pissed out. But do not drink your pee. No matter how drunk you are, remember: water. Not pee.

2. Protein.  Processing the alcohol uses up amino acids, so replace them. Get some protein. Milk is perfect. So are eggs. There's a reason why a lot of hangover remedies involve a raw egg. Go eat one. In a glass of water. Damn, why did you get so drunk? Chug that raw egg, enjoy the slime. You're drunk anyway, go for it. You could probably cook it if you trust yourself with a stove. Oh, just man up and eat it raw.

3. Water soluble vitamins. Did you know that English people call being drunk "pissed"? Whole lotta pissing going on here. You're pissing out vitamins right when you need them most. Get some B vitamins in you, some C and some K. Oh, you don't carry around a medicine cabinet as you go carousing? Well, eat some bread then. That might have some B vitamins. And eat an orange. Or drink orange juice. No, do not put vodka in the orange juice. Are you even taking this seriously?

4. Anti-inflammatories. Take an aspirin or an Advil or an Aleve. Do not take Tylenol. Tylenol is not an anti-inflammatory. I would say, "stick with the ones that start with 'A'", but, damnit, Tylenol is acetaminophen. Your drunk ass is going to mix that up for sure. Just take an aspirin. Or an Advil. Or Aleve. Remember this: Aspirin, Advil, Aleve. Yeah, you're not going to remember that. Get one of those pills and put it in your pocket before you start drinking. No Tylenol.


Good luck and Godspeed, my friends. And if you should decide to not get so stupid shitfaced that you need to try hangover remedies, I say, well done.


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Found wisdom: If it's worth shooting, it's worth shooting twice

Found wisdom: if it's worth shooting it's worth shooting twice. Pin It Now!

The reunion: part 25



“—it could be dangerous,” Kitten concluded

Suddenly a vampire porn star zombie burst into the restaurant riding a dinosaur.

“Huh,” CC noted. “This must be coming from those books she reread recently.”

“Oh, crap!” Twitch screamed. “I thought I had problems before! Now I’m really in danger!”

Then Chris burst into the room.

“Stop, stop, stop,” Chris said. “Now normally, we would have a big action scene here and have you guys find the resources within yourself to let you overcome these new problems.”

“Or fail to find those resources, and have your problems become even worse," a disembodied voice called out. "After all, this is only the second act.”

As the cats stood around unsure what to do, thirty ghouls, pursued by Viking and Valkyries, burst into the room jostling everyone and forcing them to dance around to avoid the battle axes and spears.

“Thank you, Anchorite,” Chris said, as she deftly parried a sword thrust. “Unfortunately, my dear cats,   these enemies you’re facing, imaginative as they are, are not the product of my own imagination and could have copyright have implications.”

“Like anybody reads your stuff,” Kitten muttered. All the new characters suddenly disappeared, and Twitch did something that Kitten attributed to a departing Viking.

“Thanks for getting us out of that, Chris,” Twitch said. "You're the best!"

“A little deux ex machina,” Kitten mumbled, and Twitch splashed his tailored suit with another helmet-full of mead.

Chris pressed her lips together and gave the two cats a hard look. “You cats be good,” she said.  She met eyes with CC, TingTing and Astrocat. "That goes for you too. I’m leaving now to have dinner with the Anchorite. I don’t think you should be writing your own story, but if you do, get your material from another part of my imagination. And don't expect me to come back and get you out of any trouble.”

Chris left.

“Well, we reminded her that we are waiting for a story,” Kitten said. “Let’s just relax a little and wait for her to get back.”

All the cats agreed to this. It was the best and safest plan. All they had to do was wait for Chris. Chris would probably write for them as soon as she got back from dinner. They waited quietly and patiently.

Two minutes later, Twitch got bored.

And two seconds after that, they were in an ice hockey rink, facing the Chicago Blackhawks.
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